Top 12 Oddest ‘Missed Connections’ Listings on Craigslist
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"You were a tall blonde girl wearing a creepy minotaur mask , walking down pacific avenue with the sexiest strut I've ever seen. It's nice to see a girl that can actually walk in high heels. Given, you were in your underpants, but I think even if you'd been dressed more modestly it would have had the same impact. Just....damn."
Location: SF Bay
Image courtesy of Phrancesco Ph, Flickr.
"Hey there, Emily. We met last Friday morning. Well, maybe 'met' isn't the right word. I believe the first thing you said to me was, 'Who the [F*CK] are you?' That's a funny thing to say to a guy after wandering into his apartment, passing out in his bed, and accosting him wearing nothing but a bed sheet (your own, might I add) the next morning. Before I get too far, know that I'm not mad. Actually, I think you were pretty funny. And apparently, cute. I was, however, hungover as all hell, lying horizontally on the living room couch. Why on the couch? Well, that's where I chose to sleep (I know, weird concept) after crawling into what I mistakenly thought was my empty bed at 4am. Laying down in my bed meant risking waking you up. Which would have ended in one of two ways, 1) the worst horror movie ever or 2) possibly the greatest porno ever. I didn't like my odds. Couch it was. Truth is, I already have a situation. A good situation, even though 'my situation' lives in another state. It's so good, in fact, 'my situation' laughed her ass off this morning when I told her that one story about a random naked girl waking up in my bed. I believe you happened to mentioned your own situation, too. Only your situation, based solely on last night (and the tacky pattern on his [I assume] bed sheets)) doesn't sound like a great situation. That said, it won't work with us. Sorry (it's not you, it's me and my over-use of parentheses). But I have a roommate, and I think he'd be a better "situation" for you. He has nice sheets and locks his door from the inside (looking out for your safety). He also had a better look at you this morning, and seemed to like what he saw despite you tip-toeing down the hall while simultaneously skyrocketing to the top of the walk of shame power rankings. So, yeah. Let me know. I can arrange something, or you could just stop by. I guess you already know where to find him."
Image courtesy of Fygget, Flickr.
"I spotted you on a crowded G train this evening. We made direct eye contact past several stops. You had friendly eyes and a blue bandanna around your neck. When a seat cleared, I sat down next to you. I tried to remain calm and avoid looking at you, knowing I would blush and smile too much. I grasped my book firmly, determined to stay cool, when you reached out and began licking my fingers. It was disgusting and adorable -- I began making kissy noises and fawning over you; scratching your ears, patting your head. You got off at Classon Ave before I could ask for your name. Me: excitable redhead in a gray coat. Typically a cat person, but will make an exception. You: small and compact, with black and white fur and ears that stuck out."
Location: G Train in New York
Image courtesy of Freedrik, Flickr.
"You: beautiful person in the tail end of a snuffleupagus outfit on the playa. Me: Stilted clown hobo next to camp earth mad max 2046. We met in a sandstorm, and you poked your head out of the costume. It looked like the miracle of birth. I think you had rainbow hair, but couldn't tell in the alkaline flats. maybe 2 septum piercings. maybe it is the mescaline talking, but it would be nice to meet again. We never talked, but i think you saw me and the earth shook. Then I threw up in front of you next to the naked bicyclist orgy. Coffee?"
Location: Burning Man
Image courtesy of DanDawson, Flickr.
"I think I'm in love. You got on I think at 42nd street and you were dressed as Darth Maul. Being a huge dork, I thought your costume was super cute (despite the fact that, like most Star Wars fans, I'm not the biggest fan of the Episode 1), but more surprisingly, I thought that even beneath all that makeup you were so adorable. I apologize profusely for staring, I couldn't take my eyes off you! You caught me staring and smiled at me and then waved after I got off at 66th street. If this is you, tell me what I was dressed as. I doubt you'll see this, but I'll forever remember this as the Halloween that a Sith stole my heart. Siiiiiigh"
Location: Uptown 2/3 Train in New York
Image courtesy of Scott Smith, Flickr.
"I was naked in your bed, while you were naked in my bed. We locked eyes across the tin cans and string. We shared a moment. Did you feel it? You cannot deny it. How do we move forward? Do I put on clothes or do you? Do we EVER have to put on clothes? Can i just wrap myself in a blanket and walk over? Can I order you off of Amazon, with gift wrapping for an additional $5? I hope you find this."
Location: Bed, duh
Image courtesy of ValeTheKid, Flickr.
"You: Irritated British stewardess on Delta flight from JFK to CVG. Me: Highly medicated passenger, waiting to urinate. It was a steep vertical climb, the landing gear had just retracted and the four vodkas I had were pressing against my bladder and the four Xanax I had were inhibiting my ability to hold it. I opened the lavatory door and you were sitting there, with you beige hose and support panties around your ankles. You yelled, 'I'm in here.' I said, 'You should have locked the door.' Upon exiting the bathroom you informed me, 'You can't be up right now.' I replied, 'There's no alternative.' You said, 'Make it quick.' I did. Perhaps I was too inebriated to pick up on your signals but maybe there was a missed connection? Anyway, if I weren't in my altered state, I'm sure things would have gone differently. By the way, nobody likes being exposed with their pants down to the first three rows of passengers, but was it necessary to have me escorted off the plane by police. I wasn't that drunk."
Location: New York
Image courtesy of iStockphoto, mkurtbas
"I fist spotted you at Zuccotti Park/Liberty Square right before the march started. You're a few years younger than me with short, dark hair and you were wearing all black with leggings and a red handkerchief around your neck. I thought you crushingly attractive but things got moving and I lost track of you before I was able to work up the nerve to say hello. I saw you again a couple hours later when we got arrested on the Brooklyn Bridge, and then we ended up in neighboring cells at the 90th precinct house in Williamsburg. I'm the tall guy with glasses and short, dark hair wearing jeans and a tan t-shirt. I had a gray hoodie with black stripes on the bridge. You made fun of my shoes' tongues falling out because they'd confiscated our shoelaces! Unfortunately you were released in the first group and I in the last, so I couldn't find you by the time I got out. Curses!I'll be looking for you hard the next time I'm down there, and I won't let the opportunity pass by me a 2nd time! But in case I don't see you, know that I'd love to buy you a coffee or tea or what-have-you (it's cold in that park!) and hear what draws you to the demonstration. Say hello!"
Location: Occupy Wall Street in New York
Image courtesy of Glennshootspeople, Flickr.
"You were dressed as Einstein. You jumped off the stage into my arms. I held you for an almost awkward amount of time. Way to be cute."
Location: New York
Image courtesy of Wokka, Flickr.
"You had blond hair and a turtle neck sweater. I had just woken up and was trying to remember what I had come in for. You were playing with the singing kung fu hamsters at the register waiting to buy your items. I was watching you from over by the cheetos. I made some russling noises with the bags to get your attention and we had a brief moment of eye contact before the woman started ringing you up. I made some more russling noises with the chips but you didn't look over, I started really going at it with a couple of dorritos bags hoping maybe you'd come investigate but you still didn't look and walked out. I was going to follow you but I was unfortunately and unlawfully detained by a walgreens employee before I could get out. Maybe we could meet at the High Tide some time."
Location: Lower Haight
Image courtesy o fPhillip Pessar, Flickr.
"I was sitting in the lobby of my bank waiting to talk to my banker about opening up another IRA when I saw you.....Our eyes met for a moment, and then you said, 'Get your punk ass out that seat. I'm pregnant, mother f*cker.' Your voice was like the finest melody, and so I gave you my seat, gladly, and in that moment I gave you my heart. I never thought a wife beater could look good on a pregnant woman, especially when underneath it you wore a black bra. But baby, you made it work. The emerald green thong strap hanging over the waist of your tight beige stretch pants completed the ensemble perfectly. My bank angel. You immediately pulled out your cell phone and started talking to someone, so I couldn't introduce myself. I don't want you to think I have no manners, after all. I didn't mean to eavesdrop, but you mentioned going to see 'your baby daddy.' and how 'dat motha fucka needs to take care of the kids you gots.' I saw no wedding ring, so I am assuming the romance didn't work out. Is that right? Because I want you - oh, how I burn for you, but I won't be a home wrecker. You looked close to going into labor, and I think I heard you say 'I don't know when this little mother fucker is gonna drop out, but it better be soon.' Perhaps once the blessed event has occurred, we could meet for a cup of chai tea? Let me know. And if I never hear from you, I wish you well. Please know that I will always carry the memory of you in my heart."
Location: Dallas
Image courtesy of Carolina Türck, Flickr.
"It didn't hurt that you were gorgeous to begin with but when you started singing Elvis... I wanted to do some bad things to you. You probably don't read CL. And even if you do, you're probably not interested. But if you do and you are... you know what to do next."
Location: Dallas
Image courtesy of iStockphoto, ranplett
You never know when you’ll stumble upon someone who makes your heart flutter or eyes stare. But when you do, you’ll likely find it hard to say hello or ask that person out on a date.
That’s where Craigslist can help. The classified ads website rolled out its Missed Connections feature in 2000 to aid strangers in finding that special someone they recently saw or briefly met but didn’t get a name.
“The idea of getting a second chance, however small, is very powerful,” Craigslist spokeswoman Susan MacTavish Best told Mashable. “And the idea of a love getting a second shot really resonates with people. In the end, Missed Connections is about hope — hope against the odds, the hope of a second chance.”
To relive some of the Missed Connections goodness, Craigslist hand-picked its 12 favorite listings of 2011.
The top listings are odd, to say the least. One man sought a woman who sported a “creepy minotaur mask,” and another wanted to find the woman who licked his fingers on a New York City train. The locations are as varied as the strange encounters themselves: a stranger’s bed, at an Occupy Wall Street demonstration, on an airplane 10,000 feet in the air and inside a Walgreens, for example.
“Missed Connections are widely read and loved by romantics everywhere,” MacTavish Best says. “Many people read them for pure entertainment. … People have found girlfriends or boyfriends — some of which have turned into wives or husbands.”
Have you ever used Missed Connections? Did you have any success in finding your crush? Or do you check the Missed Connections listing for pure entertainment purposes?
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